Why High Self Esteem is a Bad Thing

But you need to think about high self esteem differently. Self esteem is more like paracetamol – the right amount will help you, but too much is a very bad idea indeed.

Truly low self esteem is a terrible thing; having the opinion that you yourself are worthless – are rubbish – is a condition no-one should have to endure. But high self esteem is a serious obstacle too, if not for you, then certainly for those around you.

Some characterstics of people with high self esteem are:

• Being prone to self satisfied boasting
• Tending to be smug and superior
• Abusing relationships, assuming their needs come first in any situation. If this doesn’t happen, they will become angry and bullying
• Adopting an air of superiority, simply because they have skill or luck in a particular area of life
• Being blind to their own faults and so are unlikely to change or improve themselves
• Tending to have impulse control problems

There is also now a wealth of evidence linking high self esteem to criminality.

I often hear clients suffering from real low self esteem compare themselves with the swaggering, loud uber-confident lad at their school, or the superman in their boardroom, but that does them no justice at all. I would much rather spend time with someone who has lower self esteem than someone with super-high self esteem – they are generally just nicer people!

Understanding that that super-confident individual has a handicap as real as their own can make a great difference to the way they feel about themselves.

With self esteem, as with so much in life, balance is everything.